# 98 - Paige Matthews

NAME: Paige Matthews


(This is an accurate simulation of what
Paige looked like at the Walmart in Georgia)
























NICKNAME: "The Walmart Kid" or "Pwned McGee"


CAREER HIGHLIGHTS: Paige Matthews has only been alive for 2 years, but she's already a celebrity. At a Walmart in Stone Mountain, Georgia, she decided to start crying, causing a small tantrum of sorts. The disruption led a fellow Walmart shopper, 61 year old Roger Stephens, to go over to the child's mom, Sonya, and politely state "If you don't shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you." Neither Sonya nor Paige agreed to obey the gentle command set forth by Roger. In fact, Paige purposely continued to cry, probably even louder, giving Stephens no other option but to pick up Paige and slap her 4 times across the face.



Startled and humbled by Stephens' power and determination to shop in peace, Paige succumbed to Roger's demand and fell silent. She knew she was defeated. Roger triumphantly exclaimed, "See, I told you I would shut her up."

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/09/02/georgia.tot.slapped/index.html

Stephens has since been detained and is being charged with felony cruelty to children. He faces up to 25 years in prison. Sonya has said that she forgives Stephens, and thinks he slapped Paige because he is "mentally unstable". But obviously, this was part of a larger conspiracy devised by Paige and Sonya to stage a tantrum, entice a shopper into slapping Paige, and then reap the celebrity benefits that come along with such a story.



Of course, the police report, displayed by The Smoking Gun, tells a different story

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0902091slap2.html



I personally find it very hard to belive this man...



















would simply be angry enough to slap someone for no reason. Furthermore, one could make the argument that Stephens used great restraint in just slapping the child, as opposed to his usual crush super punch response when young children and teenagers annoy him http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuLGMaPXgZk


If there's a moral to the story, it's this: As much as little crying kids deserved to get slapped by complete strangers in public, it is against the law, so you should refrain from doing it. Instead, you should save your anger for older people who cry and throw tantrums...




















Nobody would care if you slapped this asshole.



WHAT'S SHE UP TO NOW: Crying in a movie theatre.


WHAT'S HER POSITION ON YOUR TEAM: Team Mascot